POKED AND PRODDED TWO

THE DENTIST: AN ALTERNATIVE REALITY EPISODE

Can someone please enlighten me as to what language the dentists employ when they start digging around in a person's mouth? I did not know what to think when my new tooth-care provider began chanting 2...3...2...3... while jabbing his sharp hook instrument into my gums. Obviously, I was not really in a good position to ask him. However, his assistant took careful notes.

After about five minutes he went another round, this time using dentist-speak to define my teeth. I cannot even remember the names he called them. I have no idea if they were meant to be insulting!

Ever so often he would say something like, "lost number seven" or "lost number 17." This was a little troublesome. I wondered, "Is there no hope for that one? Will no attempt be made to sustain it?"

At last I was given my oral prognosis... two teeth needed fillings and one had to come out.

Thankful that I was not actually hideously deformed, nor next in line for dentures or bridgework, I made three new appointments and got the heck out of there.