Who Are the People in Your Neighborhood?

 ("I am Movin' Out." A Billy Joel Song)

Muppet News Flash: 

Dave and I will celebrate our second anniversary, on February 9th :) and, we plan, to stay home, and watch a movie. I still have to be pretty careful, what I eat, right now.

Dave's new nerve-pain medication is helping him, quite a lot, and we are glad. I am not sure why they never tried him on this, before. They usually prefer to do, expensive, and painful, needles procedures, in his neck, instead; which only causes him, more tissue damage. Dave was much more his cheerier self, this past week, or so. He is also able to do more things, during the day, with less, physical pain, and less, weakness, too. Woo Hoo!

I am on a high dose, of a steroid, right now, a common one; called Prednisone, for a month, for my Crohns disease. It gives me some more energy, I do admit; and it is, helping my stomach; but, it is also giving me, as a trade-off; the worst, earth-splitting, headaches, and a whole lot of irritability! This is common, for anyone being on it, for this long. Usually, it is given on a lesser dosage, for a shorter time. I have ten more days, on it. So, I am a bit of a cranky-pants!  What I read about this drug, is very disconcerting!

I missed a day of work yesterday, because I felt very unwell; but I am going  to work today. I am self-diagnosing, what I have, as, "Mack Truck Virus," as it makes you feel, like you have been run over, a couple of times, by a Mack Truck. You also feel that you have inhaled, all of it's exhaust. 

My co-worker, Chris, is coming in today, with a possible broken nose; due to an accident at home; so we should be quite the tag-team. It has already been a drama-filled week, there, so far. (My work place drama could produce an interesting, high-ranking, sitcom! The Wacky World of Walgreen's! 

(This day continued to get weirder, with random drug test personal arriving, and giving us all mandatory pee tests, in the Men's Room, when I arrived. Also, the registers were behaving badly, and so forth, and so on).

  
Dave on another hand, has some kind of horrible, chest and lung congestion; a type that he commonly gets in the winter. He sees his doctor, today; who will hopefully, give him something, to help. (He is beginning to improve).

It is now, finally, after about six months, actually, quiet, upstairs. Although, there is, now, an ominous, (for us, anyway) "For Rent" sign, in the upstairs window. We pray, no one will move in, until we move out. Only because, our current landlord, can not be trusted. 

It was clear, that he was not happy, with the condition the apartment, was left in, upstairs; once they finally, got everything, out of it. (They stayed up there, on their last night, with no beds, and with no other furniture; other than a TV, in order to watch the Superbowl).

These strange neighbors had two little dogs, that made up for their size, with a lot of noise, (one is part Chihuahua, a most annoying breed). That one was often trapped in the bathroom, sometimes in a kennel too, where it barked, yipped, and scratched, the majority of every day, as obnoxiously, as possible. (EEEOWWW!)

These "friendly," neighbors, also, recently, added, for what reason, I could not imagine; a very, easily stressed, cat, who always sounded, as if it was, being tortured. It howled, sadly, at the bottom of their stairs, when left alone.

 I think, this family, went to the pound, and asked for the most annoying pets possible; and then, said, "We will take these." They brought them home, and neglected them, a great deal of the time. We suffered also, at their expense.

Cats and dogs, that are stressed, (especially, cats), often pee, everywhere, and the landlord, had always said to us, that he did not want pets, or children, in his apartments. The smell up there, will likely, not go away, without a great deal of expense. This particular landlord, is very, cheap. He will have problems renting the apartment, now. Oh, well...

Because, this property-owner is as lazy, as the day is long, (nothing against landlords in general) he really got a lot more, than he bargained for, with these Rhode Island Weirdos. They had like, five adults, and 2-4 kids, coming, and going, all day; and they were using all the hot water. 

 It was supposed to be, just one lady, and the "pestery," dog. Then, she started sneaking in family members, and, "friends of the family," (a phrase I use, loosely), that were, much like the song, titled, "Robbers, Tramps, and Thieves," by Sonny and Cher. And some of their pets, as well.

They were all, very loud; and, like I said, they used almost all of the hot water, which we were made to pay extra for, in order to have, since there is only one hot water heater. These Rhode Islanders, blocked our parking spots, regularly, due to lack of common sense. 

One of their members; a mean-looking, black dude, in a boyfriend/pimp daddy/drug pusher, sort of role; tried to steal mail one time, from another tenant, and would often walk the two other dogs, from upstairs, with his aggressive pit bull. 

This pleasant contribution to society, would have the three dogs, poop right on our portion of the sidewalk, and on our lawn. Another newcomer to this pleasant group, chose, to sit right out on our deck, one day, and listen to music; assuming, that his mother, somehow, "owned" everything.

When we left a note, recently, for the landlord, about the water issue, he actually did, talk to these neighbors. We could clearly hear their response, by the back door. (Their front door, is right behind, our back door, with no inner door between).

"Do they expect us, to be handicapped, and blind?" Hazel, the original tenant, asked, the landlord. What does that even mean? We wondered. Actually, we are very, considerate to everyone, and we only wanted that consideration, returned. They were all in a one-bedroom, apartment. It was insanity.

Now, with their much anticipated, vacancy, completed; we should be able, to park, in the back, again, (rather than the street), and hopefully, far enough, from the crazy-child- molester, in the rented house, in back. 

He is the main one, who is always trying to cause us trouble. He even threatened to mutilate Dave's deceased father's grave, recently; because Dave parked a little, over the sidewalk. (He, and his son, and the father's parole officers, never park straight; they block our spots, and they park on the grass).

This ex-con, tenant, is a walking time-bomb. He was in prison, previously, for having threatened, to blow himself up, in a van, in our very own parking lot, several years, ago.
 
First, his red-neck, rebel son, arrived, shortly after I had moved into the lower level, of the duplex. He moved into the house, out back, owned by the same landlord. He was a rebel, without a cause. 

His father, the crazy molester, moved in, a couple months later, after, having been, released, from prison. His son, had been staying there, illegally, to shack up with a girl, that was not his wife. He gave us no end of grief, while he was there. He finally left, after his dad moved into the house. His dad had actually not given him permission, to stay there, as his son, had previously, claimed.

This clown, and his dad, both, have rebel flags, on the back of their pick-up trucks. They are from Tennessee. Dave started out, helping the ex-con, many times, to move things; and he also mowed, his portion of the lawn, which was never, nicely, acknowledged. Instead, this Southern Man, started complaining, to the landlord, that the cut grass, was all over his stoop. He did not wish to purchase a broom, to sweep it off, he explained, to the landlord. (!)

This character did not even know, Dave's name; so he would come to the door, and ask, "Is he here?" He got the landlord to chop up, unimposing, healthy trees; and to rake the leaves, off the parking lot, and to do other, assorted, unneeded tasks; while we ourselves, could not get gutters, have a dry basement, or have our furnace checked. It is still, beyond our comprehension.

These poor examples of  Southern hospitality, until recently, were always trying to block us, from parking in the back, with their vehicles; and the ex-con himself, was always trying, to start fights with David, in an attempt to get us into trouble. 

One day, that Dave had to park next to him in our parking lot, he moved his truck, and parked right in front on the door of the people upstairs. This spot is in our connected to our, backdoor. This is not even a parking spot. He stayed there 24 hours. 

Now that the RI Weirdos are gone, the ex-con's son is coming around more often, and parking as oddly as possible, and as close to his father's vehicle, as possible. He is parking in the middle of the parking lot, on purpose, just to be a jerk. We really need to get out of here, this spring; even if it kills us. And it might!

The Weirdos from Rhode Island; who lived above us, as previously mentioned, did not have one brain, among them. You could not even make up, the following story, if you tried. 

The day before they moved, (this past week), one of the "young ladies," (another loosely used term), with a mouth like a sailor, was screaming at the top of her lungs, (either on the phone, or at a family member). "What is that noise?" she hollered. "Oh, it is me," she concluded.

On the day, that they moved, most of their things; we had just came back from Walgreen's. They had blocked any usable spots, both out back, and in the front.

Hazel saw us drive into the back parking lot, and instantly, barked, in broken, Rhode Island English, "What you puttin' in now, for, we're moving out."

Dave, then replied, "Move your car, so I can park."

Hazel mumbled something, too hard to understand.

Dave came back with, "I can not understand your language." (Re: Broken New England-Gibberish)

Dave directed his attention then, hopefully, to a son, who was standing on Hazel's porch; and, who is also, not a very, bright, individual. "Move your car, that is in the front, so I can park," Dave directed.

Hazel replied, with,"Oh, that cah." (Car, in New England-Gibberish).

They then proceeded, to move a couch down the stairs; which made a great deal of "bump, bump, crash," noises. Two of the wild-child grand kids, were present, screeching, and running up, and down, the stairs. The dogs were barking, and the cat was howling; so we turned up our 80's music, and laughed, with some relief, at all the commotion. Like I say, you can not make this kind of stuff, up. Truth is crazier, than fiction.

This RI Woman, began her stay, in that apartment, by getting Dish Network; without letting the landlord, know. He was not happy, because of the damage that then, occurred, to his new roof. A very, violently-tempered, representative of this company, destroyed the new roof trim, then our cable box. Then he started a fight with Dave, about it, all. Police were involved. Things just went completely sideways, from there, as you can well, imagine.

In other breaking news, I am really starting to feel my age, lately; by developing, what I refer to as, "Half-Heimers," where I forget things, that I used to know; as well, as to go, into other rooms, and forget why I am there- both at home, and at work.

I am, what I refer to as,"Five Years, From Fifty," and, "It Is, All Going Downhill, From Here." (Ha). (I want a tee-shirt that says, that).

There is a lot of new drama, at work, also. We have a recent hire, that is a very "loose cannon"; and another, that has a "nine-year-old, mentality". There is a lot of strain, and mass-confusion, going on; and it is all going to blow sky-high, pretty soon. The "nine-year old," is accusing the "loose cannon," of witchcraft! I will likely blog, more, about that, too. 

Writing, again, is helping me, a lot, to process my life; and to have a sense of humor, again.  

(Be sure to check out the other updates on my blog site, such as my favorite classic rock tunes, true work stories, and other life updates).  

I am due to see my new, swelled-headed, (though, admittedly, smart), Crohns' doctor, again, next week. He is the one, who, on my last visit, informed me, that I was supposed to have been ten minutes early; but was in fact, four minutes late. He then told me, that he would now give me, only five minutes, to discuss my new diagnosis. (!!)

We will arrive early, this next time, and hope, for better results. He will be putting me on yet, another drug, (a Crohns' specific medication), that, will also, have side effects; but will hopefully, put the Crohns', into remission. I have put, just a few, of the thirty pounds, I recently lost, back on, because I can eat a little more, now. Prednisone makes me very hungry. Another common side effect. I do like the thinner look; despite, how it all, transpired!

 Stay tuned, my friends, for the next episode of, Muppet News Flash!